Results of Incest
In October of 1999, Steve turned himself in to the local jail for the crime of incest. It is very unusual for a sexual offender of this magnitude to reveal the extent of his sin, disregarding the consequences. Two days before he confessed at the jail, he seriously considered killing his whole family and then himself. An audible voice (the Holy Spirit, he believes) told him to wait two days. He told his wife to leave the home with their six children, threatening to kill them if they didn’t leave immediately.
Two days later Steve believed the Holy Spirit told him that if he turned himself in, Jesus would never leave him or forsake him, no matter what the consequences were for his crime. Steve knew that this was his last chance for freedom, as he lived in torment day and night, feeling totally bound by lust and depravity. He had tried many different times and ways to stop his behavior. He knew he had to “come clean” to get freedom.
Steve is presently serving a 20-40 year sentence in a Michigan prison. Here’s part of his story, shared in February 2001.
“Yes, I was in all sin, lost for sure, and getting worse and worse every day. And to list these sins? They are so many that I could not list them all.
But when I saw Jesus, guys, Wham! It was over for me, for real. And now I want nothing more than to tell others about how our Lord and Savior loved me enough to make me an offer that I could not refuse – to forgive me and put all of these sins in the past, and lead me into a new life of TRUTH, HONOR, and FORGIVENESS. When I saw just for an instant how Jesus really loved me, Satan had to leave, because Jesus had exposed him too. And that’s really the whole story. Did I do anything for his wonderful thing to happen to me? No, I did not.
From watching all the things on TV I began to lust for them, and in pornography to have done to me what I had just viewed. I began to burn with uncontrollable lust. And then I didn’t really care, at that point, but I just wanted to know what it would be like to do those things and have them done to me.
This lust started in me many years ago as a child, and then developed from there into what I would call full satanic sexual worship. Then I would go over to this guy’s house that had about a hundred porno videos (new ones received every month) and I would drink beer and watch those tapes with him. With all of that stuff on my mind, I would go home to my family. This went on for about four years. I also bought porno magazines now and then, but they were not as enticing as those porno movies.
Yes, at times, I would feel bad about what I was doing, but my lust became overpowering, and I got weaker and weaker, indulging in more vile acts with my own children.
I began to get used to this sort of thing, and became more inventive. Basically, I use my own children for satanic sexual worship. And was even trying to find a way to get my wife involved in it too.
There was no limit anymore to this, nor was there anything that could make me feel shameful anymore. I was hooked, and I could not stop. It had all gone too far. If I stopped, they would expose me, I knew. During this time I thought that I could find a way out of this – later.
I was hopeless when Jesus basically said, “I still love you, but you are broken and the break is hurting your whole life. Here’s what you must do to be healed”. To get freedom from my torment, I knew what I would have to do. God made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse.
I acknowledge that I did these terrible things to my family, and I am deeply sorry for it. My sin has affected so many people.”